Tuesday, October 28, 2008

so you had a bad day.... sing with me

Yesterday was one of those days you just wanna throw in the towel.... I almost posted on this yesterday but I am thankful I waited until now to write. I'm pretty certain the entire post would have just been a huge pity party for myself..... at least today, I am able to see things a little clearer and I'm not nearly as emotional. As many of you know, Ridge Church is a strategic partner of North Point Community Church in Atlanta. We were able to start Ridge with funding from NPCC and some amazing people. Well, it's been over a year and we are now standing alone as a church ( financially) and I would be lying if I said it was an easy task. Yesterday was one of those days where it really sank in... how unpredictable everything is and yet, how blessed we truly are. Such mixed emotions.

then.... to add to my emotional whirlpool, I was in a car accident as I was leaving work yesterday afternoon. Just a minor fender bender (well, at least minor on my part) that broke a tail light and crushed in my bumper. No biggy~but enough to raise my blood pressure through the roof....
Again, mixed feelings.... frustration with yet another bill to have to pay and thankfulness that everyone was safe.

then.... as if I was on some weird reality show called, "Let's See How Long It Takes for Tina to Meltdown?", I had missed a call while I was dealing with the accident "stuff". I get in the car and check the missed message. It was my mom, calling to tell me that they think my grandmother had had a heart attack and was in congestive heart failure in Ft Myers..... A flood of emotions came over me.... why am I so far away from my family?? if I head to FL, will Rusty be OK with work, church and the kids?? can I make it home without "Emily" our GPS (she was GPS-napped out of our car last Sunday:)? Why Lord, do things seem to always happen when you feel the most beaten down already??

Then I remembered a piece of paper I put in my purse after church on Sunday. Chris is preaching a series called, "FEAR", and everyone received a copy of 9 verses from scripture about fear. When I got home, I pulled it out and read them all out loud, in an empty house. In the beginning they were more of a way to convince myself that I believed what I was reading... but by the time I got to the 4th verse, "Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you." Deuteronomy 3:22, I was claiming them! Fear can be so paralyzing, it can make you hold on to things that aren't yours and allow you to make decisions without praying. That was me yesterday. Scared to death about what was going to happen next.. waiting for that other proverbial ball to drop. I'd be telling a big fat lie if I said, I woke up this morning without a care in the world, but I have decided that the 9 verses from Sunday are my claim to sanity. I know my Father knows what's best for me, my family and my grandmother. I also know that I will praise Him for all the blessings in my life, and not be fearful about what will happen next. There has not been a day in these past 16 months where I haven't known that I am exactly where He wants me to be:) We serve a mighty God and I am so thankful that I am able to serve Him here.


Meg said...

I LOVE YOU LADY!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I miss you!!

Debbie said...

Just when you know that you have nothing but God is when He really shows up and uses us. We've basically done church revitalization for the past 11 years and it's been stressful, but God has NEVER let us down. I'm praying for you.

Debbie said...

Please know that we will be praying for grandma. I understand completely. When dad was having his cancer treatments, it was very hard to be so far away, but God knows our hearts and is always with us. He has revealed so much to you as to why you are where you are, continue to listen to Him for He always knows best.
Love ya